Make Me

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It’s no secret to my family and friends that 2016 was a painful year for me and my family. Lots of loss and uncertainty. I half-heartedly began 2017 with the idea that January 1st was a new beginning of sorts and that this new year was going to bring prosperity, healing, and happiness.

It hasn’t. 

I’ve always been leery of making New Year’s Resolutions. Not because I thought I couldn’t keep them, but because I know there are things in my life I don’t have control over.

Like loss.

Health crises.

Broken relationships.

Heartache.

We’re not immune to them, as much as we might think we are. We don’t always have control over what happens in our lives. Maybe we can control our reactions to them at times, but the overall events experienced are often times just thrown at us without warning.

I know I’ve mentioned the quote that we’re not always afraid of the future but of the past repeating itself. In my life that deems true, although there always seems to be something “new” brought to me, too. Sometimes I can “deal” with it…sometimes I don’t feel I can. It depends on the severity and the timing.

I recently heard a message about a Christian song by Sidewalk Prophets. They said something I had heard before, but was reminded of at just the right time.

It was about the “scary prayers”. The ones where we ask God to use us. To break us. To make us more like Him.

“I think the key to it all is praying those scary prayers and living life on the edge. Allowing God to make us uncomfortable so that we might do great things for him. If we’re made lonely, then we’ll know what its like when we truly find love. If we’re broken we’ll know what its like to heal. If you change your life and set it towards his grace, I promise you it will be an awesome journey and you will see the world change around you.” – Dave (Sidewalk Prophets)

Once we pray those words, we’re open to seeing just how much God wants to use us for His glory. He will break us, refine us, mold us, and do whatever He needs to do for us to surrender our lives to Him. Whatever it takes for us to take up our cross and follow Him. Fully and wholly. Asking Him to do what He wants in our lives is a risk on our part. But what follows, sometimes right away…sometimes not…is always worth it.

“Keep Making Me”

“Make me broken so I can be healed; ‘cuz I’m so calloused and now I can’t feel. I want to run to You with heart wide open…make me broken.

Make me empty so I can be filled; ‘cuz I’m still holding onto my will. And I’m completed when You are with me….make me empty.

‘Til You are my One desire…’til You are my One True Love…’til You are My Breath, my Everything…Lord, please keep making me.

Make me lonely so I can be whole; ’til I want no one more than You, Lord; ‘cuz in the darkness I know You will hold me….make me lonely.

‘Til You are my One desire…’til You are my One True Love…’til You are My Breath, my Everything…Lord, please keep making me.

‘Til You are my One Desire…’til You are my One True Love…’til You are My Breath, my Everything…Lord, please keep me making…I know You’ll keep making…Lord, please keep making me.”

I have been broken. Down on my knees overwhelmed with pain and heartbreak. Prostrate on the floor.

I have been emptied…and emptied…and emptied again.

The loneliness can become debilitating at times.

Humanly, I have sometimes wondered why, when I couldn’t see what good could possibly come out of the situation.

But then God shows me. He wants me. He wants all of me. He will go to the extreme for me to willingly hand over my heart and life to Him. I’ve seen it, experienced it, lived it. And guess what? He follows through on His promise to heal us, fill us, and make us whole again.

He’s the refiner who is burning off the dross.

He’s the potter and we are the clay.

He’s the Father and we are His children.

Just as earthly parents want their children to surrender any arrogance, over-confidence, trust that’s only in themselves, Jesus wants to rid us of those harmful characteristics, too.

When we look for only earthly healing…we miss the opportunity for God’s miraculous works.

When we look to everything and everyone else to fill our needs…we miss the incredible fullness God can give us. The only way we will ever feel complete is through Him. Nothing in this world, besides Christ, will fulfill our every longing.

Nothing.

When we feel so alone because everyone in our lives has disappointed us, yet we still look to them for our deepest relationships, we will remain lonely. Only God can fill the deepest parts of us…the areas where no human could possibly fill.

If we allow Him to.

This has happened to me too many times to count: I’m having a rough time and reach out to someone. And the phone keeps ringing. The texts go unanswered. I go to the next person, who also is unavailable. Then the next…and the next…until I realize I am sitting alone without anyone to talk to. Then it dawns on me. Perhaps God is taking away every possible “human” interaction I am longing for…so that I will come to Him.

I’m not proud to say that at times I look to others to fulfill my need before I go to Jesus. But I have and sometimes I still do. However, in the end, it’s still Christ Who is My One True Love. He is the Only One Who can be my One Desire, my Breath. My sinfulness takes me down paths not meant for fulfillment…until I realize I need to turn around and lift my eyes up to Him.

The horizontal outlook on life will never fill us the way our vertical one can. We can look at all that the world provides and always, always, always come up short. But the moment we turn our focus vertical…on the One Who created this world, we can be filled like never before.

Even though 2017 isn’t going the way I magically hoped. Even though the “break” I was hoping for hasn’t come, I know He’s just continuing to “make” me. He’s continuing to break me, mold me, and draw me closer to Him. Yes, it hurts and yes, I continue to make the mistake of not always going to Him first. But I’m a work in progress. I’m not finished yet….He’s not finished with me yet. I trust when He is, I will be exactly Who He created me to be.

Until then, I will continue to ask the “scary prayers”. I’ll ask Him to use me. To use my life. To use my circumstances. I will expect pain and heartbreak, knowing He’s still in control.

How about you? Do you feel like you are in the Refiner’s fire right now? Can you think of a time when you were? If so, what do you think the result will be for you? Or what was the result, if that time is in the past?

Do you ever, like me, wonder when it will all end? When the storms of life will stop seeming so unbearable? Be assured, my friend, that even through all of the trials and tribulation you face, He is there. He is always there just waiting for us to surrender and fall into His arms. He is our Healer and our Deliverer. Let Him in.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Remove the dross from the silver,
and a silversmith can produce a vessel. Proverbs 25:4

Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

We’re in this week of gratitude amidst the messiness of our lives. So today I am thankful for heartache and pain because it draws me closer in relationship to Jesus. #livingalifeofthankyou

(I have one request….as I know many of you click “like” on the Facebook page or elsewhere. It would be great if you could click “like” on this page…the real blog post. It would be GREATLY appreciated! 🙂 I’m not positive if a difference will be made, but thought I would try it being I am a bit newer to this. Thank you!)

11 thoughts on “Make Me

  1. Julie Reitmeier

    Awesome insight into what our response should be to suffering. It’s very easy to go the other way, into self-pity and anger at God. So glad you are leaning into Him and trusting Him!

  2. OH! I know those “scary prayers” and know so many of those hard things. They do seem to be in conflict for we want to have easy and comfort and all ok, but we want God’s best for us too. Thus those prayers and this is such a fine reminder for me. Thank you and thank you again. I saw the title on Suzanne’s linkup and knew I had to come to see what you did with “Make Me.” : )

    • Bless you! It can be scary because we have know idea what He will ask us to do. But thankfully He promises to be with us as we obey. So glad you liked it and it spoke to you!

  3. Connie

    I can relate to all.of this. I grieve lost family members–my dad I.lost in 1987!! One day God came to me in my heart to.tell.me I am your Father!! I am here 🙂 I have never forgotten that lesson and all the pleading prayers for my father as I hurt!! You are spot on Rochelle!! For the Lord made us and Loves us most!!! Amen Rochelle!!

    • rochelleb@me.com

      What a blessing to receive that confirmation so clearly! He is the One True Father, isn’t He. So thankful you share your faith admist the pain and grief. God is still good! 🙂

  4. Michell Olson

    You write from your heart, I feel blessed just knowing you. Life is never easy, something or someone always seem to appear or disappear from us but when you be leave, God will lead the way. Trust

    • Thank you Mike! I am thankful for your constant friendship in support. You have such a big heart for others, especially those who are struggling with grief and loss. Trusting God is key…and great friendships sure help! Love you!

  5. Linda M

    Love this! Thank you so much. Jesus is absolutely all we need & never ever fails us……my gosh such a painful road sometimes, really getting to where we know that we know that. So worth it though……nothing else comes even close. So much of this really resonated with me. THANK YOU.xx

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